At the age of six, I learned how to lock butlers in the fridge. By age eight I’d formed a dynamic duo with a purple dragon, and together we vented our kleptomaniac tendencies by ransacking kingdoms in search of gems and spotty eggs. Then, as my teens hit me with the force of a freight train I discovered the only way to hit back was to steal a car and run down some polyester-clad cocaine lords.
Now, as a twenty-one year old adult, I can claim to have snowboarded through avalanches, assassinated fifteenth century Templars, battled the zombie apocalypse and smashed it as lead guitarist of my own rock band. I’ve journeyed through the nine circles of Hell to reclaim the soul of my dearly beloved from Lucifer, depleted the world’s banana stocks using its peel as a deadly weapon and solved puzzles for a sadistic, disembodied computer voice.
And I killed a man. Well, men. And women too… Online multiplayer brings out the worst in me.
My name’s Alysia and this is a blog dedicated to video games. So, as tradition dictates, hunch on the edge of your seat, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and: scroll down to ‘Press Start’ to begin.